Bodley's Cardigan: into uncharted territory

First, I must gripe.  The new iOS lets you 'multitask' by shifting among open applications (but, sadly, does not let you actually close any without shutting the iPad all the way down, but that's another story).  However, the Blogger app seems to have missed the memo and I just lost a whole post while I was looking for something online.  I'll attempt to recreate now, but it's past my bedtime so I don't promise I'll be witty.

Beyond the Charts

I finished the charts last night just before switching over from Once Upon a Time to the baseball game (Go Red Sox!).  I've got a bit over 7 inches now--just 8.5 to go, in pattern, until the arm-hole decreases!  It might take a while.  I'm about halfway through my second skein and I need to get to the middle of the fourth skein by the end of October.  You may commence prayer, candle lighting (just not near the wool, please), smudging to cleanse evil spirits, whatever you think might help get me there.  I shall do my part by knitting.  I may have overstepped myself attempting to do this sweater while, you know, living my life.  And knitting a Phoenix (socks! They helped the Red Sox win, I swear!) and I also spun for a class, but I think it might be my only. I'm quite swamped.  NEWT first, other stuff later.  Prioritites.  I must get my first wand.

Anyway, progress:

The ribbing is a bit looser than I'd like, and it's a little hard to see the 'stained glass windows' pattern...

but it's coming out well enough and it will certainly be the warmest sweater I've ever knit.  It's very tight--I'm on size 2 needles! and I think it'll be a little less stiff once I wash it.  When I washed the swatch, dirt came out in amazingly larger proportions than when I washed the skeins, and everything softened up a lot.  And got tighter.  But softer.

Keeping the brain occupied

So, I spend a lot of time watching TV -- mostly Netflix except for the odd foray into ABC-land for Once Upon a Time.  I've watched several whole series since I started this project: Beauty and the Beast from the late 1980s (I learned 2 things: George RR Martin hasn't changed much in 25 years, and Ron Perlman must have been Benedict Cumberbatch's smoldering professor); Alphas, Continuum, and I've just begun Arrow.  

But there are other things to do while you knit or spin! I've been listening to audio books--I just went through all the Circle of Magic books by Tamora Pierce, a re-listen for me--and I'm currently listening to The Alchemyst which is happily also a Fantasia workshop this term.  And I'm also reading.  According to Elizabeth Zimmermann, knitting master and creator of the February Lady Surprise Jacket among other awesome patterns, 

Some may gasp and stretch their eyes, but knitting and reading at the same time is just a matter of practice.  Of course you must love knitting and you must enjoy reading; if you don't love them equally, one at a time is sufficient.

--Elizabeth Zimmermann, The Knitter's Almanac, April (found at location 835 of my Kindle edition... I can probably reference a page at a later time).

So, reading and knitting.  This week the final ETA: sorry, penultimate book of the Heroes of Olympus: House of Hades by Rick Riordan was released.  Having required 3 years to mostly exise the unpleasant narration of the first book from my head (splutter splutter don't pronounce "Hera" like SheRa! splutter splutter), I simply refuse to listen to these, so reading it is! On my iPad, I can access my Kindle app, and it stands up on its little standy thing, and a page turn is just a matter of a quick swipe, and I can make the text large enough that I can sit back in my chair and knit and read and knit and read.  I mostly knit for a bit, then finish the page, turn it, and knit more... I'm not so much doing them at the same time as alternating them.  Still, I'm getting through this book... Annabeth and Percy are in dire straits, and of course Hazel and Jason are too... I'm going to guess it all gets resolved somehow by the end of the book since this is the last one, but Riordan can be tricky, so we'll see.

Okay, bed now.  Have a lovely night!

Bodley's Cardigan: Casting on at Last

There really wasn't much to say last month.  I spun, I plied, I got covered in bits of hay and dust, my poor wheel needs a good cleaning, and I finally got most of the grit and fluff out of my hand cards after washing them twice.

But finally! Lo! and behold! I have Spun All The Yarn!

Seven skeins of... varying length.  The shortest is 172 yards and the longest 246, with most of them averaging 200-220 yards.  Well.  Here's a screen shot of my Ravelry handspun project page (new to Rav: handspun as a project! and fiber as a stash option! I think it's still in beta but I've been using it since Tour de Fleece and it is quite lovely!)

 

As you can see I have named all the skeins for my dear Rav friends or their Merry Beasts (I thought Foxy and Ember would like their own skeins even better than their Persons would) and if I run out of yarn and have to do one more, another dormmate will get her own skein.

The grand total if I did my Mathings right is 1,520 yards, which was enough to declare I'd reached All The Yarn for NEWT 50% points purposes.  

I then proceeded to cast on... with the wrong size needles, bless me.  I knit 4 rows with size US 4 needles before realizing my mistake and switching to the 2s.  I'm just *not* ripping this stuff back.  It's very clingy and I'm afraid it wouldn't do well coming out.

what I have is currently right around 45" long (perfect: it's supposed to be 44.5" and it will tighten with washing if my swatch is any indication), 314 stitches, takes about 20 minutes to do a row.  I'm just adoring the Broken Rib stitch at the beginning and end of the rows.  I shall hereby admit that I'm afraid this yarn has too much halo to do DovieJay's stitch definition justice.  But we shall see... and if nothing else, this will be the warmest sweater I've ever owned.  And since it'll be one more winter without heat in my office (they'll be putting in a new furnace next summer while the preschool is on hiatus, but this winter we'll be keeping the space heater running!) I'll be glad to have this finished.

There's not much to see, really, but let's give the iPad camera a try, shall we?

Running Remix

Well, hello.  It has been a while, hasn't it?  According to my ticker I am down 19 pounds (really 18.8 but the ticker doesn't do decimals) and that's, just huge.

I am still attempting to run, but of course the moment I finished up with my calf injury, I hurt my knee.  Well, re-initiated a wonderful injury from long ago, really: I've been wrestling with knee stuff since my late 20s, and I weigh a couple more pounds than I did then (even with having lost 19 pounds, yep).

And work started up.  I'm still managing to get out to run several times a week but it isn't as consistent as it was during the summer. So, I have been reading ChiRunning by Danny Dreyer.  I'd read ChiWalking years ago, and I absolutely remembered some of it and applied what I remembered--but.  First of all, the walking and running bits are different, and second of all? I didn't remember it all.  So, time to go back to the drawing board.  I've been running while applying some of what I'm learning, but it isn't enough--I have to go all the way back, starting now, and start over, because the way I'm running is causing injury.  I have to relearn moving.  I have to relearn standing.  I have to relearn sitting and walking.  And then I have to relearn running too.  The whole kit and caboodle has to start from scratch.

I registered for a training session on ChiRunning.com with the goal of eventually running 5K.  And I have kept reading (I've read the section on injuries twice now).  I have a run coming up today according to the training session.  Of course, I've been impatient.  I want to keep going far and fast (I've been doing 2 miles in 37 minutes which isn't superfast but it's considerably faster than I was running before).  I want to keep up with the C25K training I was doing.  I want to keep up with Zombies, Run!

But I have to stop.  I have to back off.  I have to start over.

So, I'm starting with the self-evaluation in the book.  And then I'm starting with the very first workout and Form Focus and I'll do it as long and as often as I need to to master the first Form Focus.  Doing it again is not an issue.  Keeping my knee from hurting is totally an issue.

Physical Assessment

1. Are you currently nursing any injuries, aches, or pains? Yes.  My right kneecap and the muscles to the inside of my knee are painful and I have hip pain (that hasn't been bothering me when I run, though) and general tension throughout my body. I have also suffered from Plantar Fasciitis in the past though it has not recurred as a result of running so far.
2. Do you have any physical conditions that would warrant a doctor's approval or consultation before beginning a running program? At this time I'm going to say no, though if the knee doesn't improve I will have to take it to a doctor.
3. What is the maximum number of miles or minutes you could comfortably run today? Without knee injury--just thinking about my cardio capacity, etc., I have comfortably run 40 minutes/about 2 miles at a slow pace and I could probably go farther at the slow pace.  With the knee injury... it kinda depends.  
4. Are you overweight? Do you use running for weight management? Yes, and yes.

I don't yet know my resting heart rate.  I'll document that at a different time.

Mental Assessment: Thinking/Feeling

1. How much a part of your life do you want running to occupy? I would like it to be a regular recreation practice.  I'm not at this time planning to enter marathons or have running become the core of my being, but I'd love to run a 5K for charity once in a while.
2. Why do you run? Because it's fun (especially with Zombies!) and because it burns calories at a higher rate than walking.  Also, it has helped me with some of my leg cramping issues and it just plain feels good.
3. What do you want from running? Weight loss, health, a feeling of well-being and also of triumph!
4. Do you feel better training with a group? Alone? with a partner? Unapologetically, I like to run alone.  I'd love to get to a point where my dog could come with me, but otherwise, me and the road.  Partly this is because I'm still really slow, and when other runners are with me I feel competitive.
5. How good are you at being self-motivated/staying with a training program? Um. Not the best.  But my MFP friends are keeping me going and so is doing this blog publicly. 
6. Would you like to achieve a certain distance or pace? I would like to run a 5K sometime soon--I'm more motivated to do it in the springtime! but maybe go someplace warm and do one over the winter. :-D
7. Is there a specific race you'd like to train for? not at the moment... there are a couple in the springtime I've been looking at.  I was thinking about a Turkey Trot but I think my knee needs to heal before I try.
8. What are your fears around running? being the last person across the finish line/being the object of pity; hurting myself.

Pre-Assessment of Chi-Running Techniques

I haven't been through the lessons in Chapter 5 yet, but I have already started to notice how this technique is going to be hard (and also which parts will be easy).  So I thought I'd start with where I am now and just note...

The Big Thing I need to start with is my C-shape.  I habitually stick my butt out in back and my chin out in front--I've noticed it a lot.  I think once I get this down--once it becomes habitual for me, all day, to level my pelvis and strengthen my core--the rest will fall into place.

I also notice that 1) the parts of my body that are supposed to be loose are tense.  and 2) my right foot splays out just slightly, which according to the book contributes strongly to knee issues.  It happens less when I run than in normal life.

There's all sorts of other bits--I'm not leaning right, I'm not peeling my feet up right... but I have to start with my C-shape until when I check in with myself throughout the day I find that I'm not all weird-postured.

I'm working on getting my dates changed in the ChiRunning site because I signed up for a training program... I'll either run today or tomorrow, not sure which... and all I'm going to focus on is my C-shape.

I'll let you know how it goes.  Meanwhile, knitting pictures! Because we all know we need those!

"Smoke Before Flame" oven-dyed yarn

"Blue Dog Yarn"--gradient dyed in the crockpot

Beaded choker...lovely phone picture.

D's new socks!

Cuppycakes!

Socks for a Faerie Queen

WIP Wednesday!

It's not often I actually work on a WIP on a Wednesday, but I've decided my list of WIPs is too long, so today's daytime crafting time went toward finishing a Work in Progress that was near completion.

Last summer, when we were up on Bailey Island, we went to a fabulous town-wide garage sale that Bailey and Orr put on every year.  One of the deals was that you could pay $5 and get a box, and put everything that would fit inside the box.

I didn't need too much stuff, but one of the things I found was a bag full of yarn--mostly cones of cotton, plus one really nice spool of pretty red crochet thread, either Aunt Lydia's or maybe DNC.  And then a little bit later, I found an old wind-up Timex watch without a band, and with a big scratch on the face.  I wound it up and darned if the thing doesn't work perfectly.  So I thought, I could crochet a watch band!  At the craft store I got some plastic rings, and began crocheting around them, crocheting them together... adding on a clasp.

I started it in August but then the new Term started so I put it aside.  I took it out once somewhere in the middle and crocheted a few more rings, but then the Gotta Do knitting took over.

I still have Gotta Do knitting: my OWL and my Phoenix are not where I want them.  But I had 8 WIPs yesterday.  Today I have only 6, because I finished the Barbie dress, which I shall show off momentarily.  So I've now finished two projects in two days.  Next Wednesday I'm going after the Galaxy socks, because I would really like one more pair of hand-knit socks for my wardrobe.  Meanwhile, I have a watch to wear.  Hooray!

And Barbie, of whom I'm insanely proud at the moment:

Winter Feast for the Soul Days 2 & 3

Tonight I completed Day 3 of Winter Feast for the Soul meditation practice.  Tonight I put on my Plum Village Meditations audiobook and actually sat for 15 minutes.  It was a fairly good practice for me... I was gratified to find that although I'm a bit stiff and sore and inflexible, I wasn't that fidgety.  My brain, of course, did a fair amount of twiddling, as always, but it wasn't frustrating twiddling, if you know what I mean.  I noticed that I was thinking, and then I tried, at least for a few minutes, to think of my breath instead, or the bell sound.  And then my brain would go off again and I would gently redirect it to the breath. But I didn't feel that sense of failure to do this!! that I used to get when I was younger.  I'm guessing this is a sign of maturity.  I can sit still.

I did my Gratefulness journaling as well tonight.  I was still a little fuzzy-headed from the sitting--perhaps I should have journaled first?--and so I kept sort-of nodding off as I wrote.  But I'm taking that as being in a meditative state, not simply an exhausted one.  I listed about 40 things before my allotted time ran out... and I think I really would have fallen asleep if I'd continued.  I really am grateful for a lot of things in my life.  I have no idea why I wrote number 19, "I am grateful for cheese" but I know exactly why I wrote "I am grateful for fondue." Fondue and all it symbolizes.  I wonder if others would think it odd how many of the things on my list are people I've never met... I forgot to write "I am grateful for Jayannell" but I will go add her now, because without my Accountability Partner I would never have done this exercise in the first place.  Is it strange that I am grateful for Peck, my Wee Tiny Owl, who in real life is a pompom animal wearing a bow tie, and in The Tower is a Spirit Guide who hides under my hair and gives me strength and courage?  The semi-fictional life of Ravenclaw Tower is a remarkable and real place to me... listening to Talk of the Nation today, there was a story about the blog "Tuesdays with Dorie," which is a baking thing... Dorie Greenspan, a cookbook writer, told of her experience of a group of bloggers who wanted to cook their way through her entire book.

She said, "But what's been so interesting is how kind and generous and wonderful. I got really lucky with "Tuesdays with Dorie." They're a wonderful group of people, and they formed a real community. Real friendships have been formed through this group. People had helped one another. Careers have changed. It's been a remarkable journey and one that - as I said, I never could have imagined this would happen."  This, of course, resonated with me--my career has changed , I have formed real friendships, as a result of Ravelry and the House Cup.  And then she added, 

I've watched hundreds of bakers go from being scaredy cats to becoming really, really good bakers with confidence in your skills. 

And the letters that I've gotten from people who've said that learning to bake, which was something that's frightened them, that they did kind of - you know, with self-improvement. You said a New Year's resolution, but many people do take up baking as a - at New Year's - when they're not dieting. But I think that people who started without the skills had become so confident of what they can do, and it's gone to other areas of their lives, that this has really given them - I think of this as the power of baking, the power of community. It's really given them the confidence to do other things. It's been so exciting.

And again--this resonates for me.  Learning to knit really well, to be fearless in just one thing, has led to some fearlessness in some other areas of my life, and ultimately to a career change.  I still have fears... but so many fewer than I did a year ago, let alone 2 1/2 years ago when I joined the House Cup.  So... being grateful for it and all its imagined and half-imagined population and locales makes perfect sense.

Today on the radio I heard this, which I think will be my next journal exercise.  Reclaiming my Personal Story... I think that sounds very therapeutic, don't you?

Last night, on Day 2, I did a lot of mindful knitting... which maybe wasn't as mindful as sitting or journaling, but was still more mindful than when I watch a video or listen to an audiobook while knitting.  I got a lot done on my OWL (talk about developing fearlessness--I'm designing this one, and if all goes right, it'll be a project in a book of designs I want to write.  If you'd told me a year ago that this would be in my personal cards, I'd have said you were nuts.

Exercise: not so much today.  The time I had planned for exercise went to a work phone call.  But it is all good.  Tomorrow I am stuck at home all day with no car as my car gets a check-up, so I will plug in the Xbox then.

Hmmm... knitting pictures...

I didn't get to show these off before because the Barbie was a gift.  She's wearing a dress made of hand-dyed yarn... which I dyed with ice cubes, mind you, just because I had to try it.

Fearless Knitting

Almost no part of my life is without fear.  Fear of 'doing it wrong' or fear of hurting someone.  Fear of making someone angry or of being embarrassed.  I fear losing those I love and I fear being alone.  I fear change.  When I think about all the parts of my life that are motivated by fear of something, it fills me with grief.

People think, often, that one knits to relax.  How often have I heard, "Oh, I wish I could knit.  It must be so relaxing!"  Knitting doesn't relax me.  Knitting challenges me, stretches me, makes me strive toward new heights and depths and widths and breadths.  Knitting connects me, giving me that opening with people, even a brief one, that my introversion requires before I can have a conversation with a stranger.  I love knitting in public and seeing the little girls, eyes wide, who just come to watch.  Often they don't say a word, but they sit there, looking, soaking it up, because knitting speaks to something visceral in people--more often, in my experience, in girls and women than in men and boys, though not exclusively so.  Yarn sings to us.  Needles and hooks and spindles are the instruments of a craft that binds us together, clothes us, wraps us, brings us to new places.

I have met many a fearful knitter.  A woman approached me the other day on my way out of that oft-frequented coffee shop and said, "I was watching you knit.  I knit too, but you know, just basic stuff.  Just knits and purls."  I smiled and replied, "You know, it's all just knits and purls," and she started to explain that she only did knitting she didn't need to follow a pattern for.  I have that kind of knitting too.  I call it my "social knitting," the knitting I bring along to watch D's gymnastics classes or to a party or a movie or the waiting room as I wait for my dear one to be done with scary surgery.  But I also have what I call my "anti-social knitting," which requires patterns and charts and counting and Deep Concentration.  When I'm working on something like that, my family knows not to talk to me, or bump me, or, even really to come near me at all in the middle of a row.

If I had to nail it down, though: why do I love knitting (and crocheting and spinning and maybe dyeing and weaving too)? I'd have to say it is because knitting is the one thing in my life I do without fear or worry.  Never do I look at a pattern and say, "I can't do that; it's just too hard."  I might say, "I don't have the experience to do that piece yet," but even that is rare nowadays.  I might not want to do it, but that's because it's not interesting, or too fiddly, or because I would have no use for the FO (that's 'finished object' in knit-speak), never because I don't think I can.  I haven't tried steeking(1) yet, but even that's not fear.  Not really.  I just haven't found the right Fair Isle project and the motivation to do it.  I know that if I decide to steek something, it'll come out fine--or it won't, and that's okay too.

I love how I feel about knitting.  When I see a pattern for something I like, I don't worry about whether I can make it happen.  I know I can make it happen.  Lace, colorwork, double-knitting, cables--no problem.  I can do it.  It's a very powerful way to feel, and I have come to the conclusion that I should feel this way about more in my life.  Knitting is lovely and I will always cherish it, but I want that fearless feeling in my every endeavor.

Worry is a hard habit to break.  I'm just noticing now, as I go through my days, how many of the things I do have some kind of fear attached to them.  Breaking free of fear may be a task that lasts me the rest of my days,  (may they be long and exciting!).  I suspect that the answer lies in knowing my own convictions, and learning to be true to them regardless of circumstance.  When yarn comes across something in its path, it might break--but more often, the yarn picks up the thing and makes it part of itself (which is why tons of beagle hair is incorporated in my knitting) or winds around it, taking on the shape of it but still being yarn.

Yarn has no fear, even of scissors.  If you cut yarn, it is still yarn.

Double Knitting!

(1) Steeking, you ask?  It's when you knit a Fair Isle sweater in the round as one big long cylinder, and then cut a slit on each side between two rows of stitches for the arms instead of shaping the knitting with decreases.  It's one of the riskiest things you can do in knitting, in some ways, because, well, you cut through this complicated pattern you just worked your tush off on.  

Knitting break??? WHAT???

Well, you don't think I'm gong to completely stop knitting, do you?  But it's the April Holidays in the House Cup.  We're still a couple of days out from knowing who won.  Professors are still calculating Bonus Points, Things are being discussed, and a ton of off-month activities have been posted (including the silliest April Fool's Joke ever.  Really, awesomely epic, and included a manatee in a space suit.  How could you go wrong, right?)

So, no knitting for points this month.  So I have a pair of socks going--trying to perfect my knit-to-fit method--and I just finished and sent out my Reducio swap yesterday--and I still have the Epic Shawl of Doom to complete, since it didn't get done for a badge this month and it still needs finishing.  And I'll be swatching for next Term's OWL later in the month--but I'm really aiming at that being the only new thing I cast on this month.

I shall fill my time thusly:

• I shall SEW!  I have several projects that want working on.
• D1's new comforter/blankets.  I've had the fabric for a year now.  Seriously.  I could at least get one done.
• The corners (and this is hand sewing, as I almost busted my machine trying to do it that way) of a blanket I've been making for ages for River.  Sigh.  
• The lining of Mary's Christmas stocking
• I shall BE HEALTHY!
• Thanks to OneNeedleKnitting, I found a site called MyFitnessPal.com.  It is another diet/weight loss/exercise tracking site.  All right: I love SparkPeople.  I love the SparkPoints; I love the trophies; I love that so many of my friends have found their way there.  But their nutrition and exercise tracking tools are hard to use.  So here's the plan:
• I will track my food and exercise on MFP.  The mobile app is easy to use and has--get this--a bar code scanner! I can scan about 90% of my food instead of trying to look it up!  So easy!
• I will use "quick track" on Spark People to keep track of fruits and veggies and exercise (I get SparkPoints for minutes tracked, but I get to eat more on MFP for exercise tracked, so I will do both.  It's not that hard).
• I will re-vamp the House Cup SparkTeam to make it a little more user friendly and encouraging.  More challenges!!! Hooray!
• I will continue to walk or do some other kind of exercise at least 5 times a week.
• I will continue to track my food.
• I shall conquer Lego Harry Potter!
• After the boy goes to bed
• I have my own copy for the DSi hidden carefully away.  Someday I shall also play it on the Wii... but I won't hold my breath.  April I will play a little LHP every night.  I've already finished the first Year, but I still have a lot of stuff I can go back and get after I gain more spells.
• I shall READ
• The Hunger Games.  So good!
• The Spark.  I'm finding it much more interesting and empowering than I thought I would.
• Catching Fire (book 2 of the Hunger Games cycle.  I will move on to book three if I have time).

So that's the plan!  I like plans.  But not much actual knitting will happen this month.  Still, wanna see what I did last month?

What? Blogging again?

Should I really write again tonight?  Yeah, I'm procrastinating; I should be knitting my O.W.L.  But here I am.

So, cool things: I discovered, thanks to one of my wonderful Ravenclaw sisters, ChoreWars.  Seriously!? (Interrobang!)  A D&D game where your chores are your Adventures!  David and I are both in; he's on the team earning points.  I totally beat him to making his lunch.  I told him he had until 8:00 to come volunteer to help me, and he didn't, so I got the 15 points!  Go me.

Is it silly? Er, yes.  But way more fun than doing dishes without battling a Water Goblin.

Other cool things... let's see.  I am Kitchener Stitch away from finishing an Elephant.

I made David some socks!

And that'll be 5 days tracking food on SparkPeople, thank you very much.

Less good things: David takes his very first ever installment of the MCAS exam tomorrow.  Joy.  And Netflix is not working.  Pout.  I wanna watch reruns of Xena Warrior Princess!

Seriously quick

I have about 7 minutes before my body decides to shut down, so I'll be quick.

I've spent the past week feeling lousy, going to doctors, having people prod me.  I have an ultrasound scheduled for January 27, and at that point I will really know (rather than just having my doctor "strongly suspect") which lovely feminine ailment I'm facing, and I'll probably be ready to share.  It's not dire, it's not terminal, but it's extremely annoying.

I spent two days feeling horribly sorry for myself and dragging around and crying and eating whatever came my way.

Then I decided this is just not how I want to live my life, so today I started writing down my food again (I haven't recorded it all, but I am very sure I was extremely careful and did not go over, and I will get the rest of it down tomorrow).  I am ready to embark on my 3rd week of dieting, I am down five pounds, and it's time to pull out the exercise. I'm going to start with a very gentle yoga routine, because I think that's probably about all I can handle at the moment.

In other news, I started a fabulous shawl which is a gift for someone who could, potentially, see it here, so I'm not saying who and I'm not showing pictures.  But it's fabulous. 


And for having thus teased, I shall now present a picture of the other thing I did this week: A very sparkly candystriped sock:

and the roving I've started spinning on my new drop spindle.

And we had a SNOW DAY today!  It was rockin' awesome.  This was at 7:45 am, when it had been snowing for fewer than 8 hours:

And the kiddo has the day off tomorrow as well.  And Friday, school was already closed.  And Monday? Closed for MLK day.  Little stinker.

I'm off to bed.

Enter, rejoice and come in!

Enter, rejoice, and come in
Enter, rejoice, and come in
Today will be a joyful day
Enter, rejoice, and come in!


Don't be afraid of some change
Don't be afraid of some change
Today will be a joyful day
Enter, rejoice, and come in!
                         (From the Unitarian Universalist hymnal, Singing the Living Tradition)


Back to church today after the holiday break.  D1 lit the chalice during the service, which he did beautifully.  No churches were burned down in the lighting of today's chalice, and he looked calm and collected while he did it (and was I worried that Wiggle Boy would, perchance, wiggle mid-candle-lighting and accidentally drop the lighted flame on the rug and start a fire? A little bit, yeah).

We had a break-in in the church office last night; the Ministerial Intern and the DRE arrived this morning to find that someone had taken a crowbar to one of the doors, and they were still trying to figure out exactly what was damaged and what was missing.  With sadness I reflect that had whoever it was just knocked on the door during the day, they would have been given what they needed.  Enter, Rejoice, and Come In, my unknown brothers and sisters.  We mean it.

The Ministerial Intern, Michael, is a big solid rock, who knows, from his theater background, just how to make his words resonate.  It was clear he was shaken by the event though: he told every adult he could find about the break-in, including me.  I too know that desire to share: Something goes wrong? Call mom.  Saw something that made me angry? Post to Facebook. Discover that my knitting pattern makes an amazing zig-zag?  Post to Rav.

Sharing weight loss is harder.  I am always worried, deep down in my spirit, that I am being a pest to other people.  Really.  I'm trying to lose weight, and you are too?  I don't ask you to go the journey with me, because it might annoy you if I ask.  Weight loss isn't the only thing I have this feeling about, but it's a big one. My Ravelry friends have helped me through this a lot.  My self-worth is far higher than it was two years ago; I no longer hesitate to volunteer for something because I think my contribution won't be valued.

There are those who denigrate the online world.  Those aren't 'real' friends, they say.  But my Rav friends are very real, both the many I've met in real life (fifty? At least!) and those with whom I share a warm, caring relationship that's only online, because miles separate us.  That Maria and Julia (whom I've met) and Jen and Crystal (whom I haven't) are walking the road with me makes me feel I can walk just a little father, and the support of those I haven't met means just as much as the support of those I have.

Don't be afraid of some change... change in the New Year seems natural and right.  As we turn the calendar, we start new projects, try a new endeavor, seek a healthier lifestyle.  The light is returning, and that's change I don't fear.  Weight loss scares me a bit; I acknowledge the truth in fearing to look and feel my best, even though I don't completely understand what's at the root of that fear.  Change isn't easy to contemplate; in fact, the thinking about it is often harder than the actual change.  How long didn't we sell our house because we were afraid it wouldn't sell?  And then it sold in a flash.  Perhaps picking up my calorie-counter will be easy; perhaps that crazy bit of knitting at the center of the Shipwreck shawl won't be as hard as I think it is; perhaps going back to work tomorrow will be joyful.

Today will be a joyful day! Even though it means taking down the Christmas tree and saying goodbye to home and hello to work and stress, I'm going to make today a joyful day.  Enter, rejoice and come in, New Year!

Raveling On...

I skimmed the book about Mindful Knitting, and I found it both helpful and kind of disheartening. There were some lovely images... but apparently to knit mindfully, one shouldn't do it with an audiobook running in the background. It had some excellent patterns--so many, in fact, that I'm highly tempted to buy the book after I return it to the library.

Today's sleep-deprivation is brought to you by Harry Potter garb for Halloween. I've been working like crazy getting D's Halloween costume finished on time. He now has his tiny owl Pigwigeon:


And his Weasley sweater, broomstick, Gryffindor scarf and tie, magic wand, and orange hair:



Tonight I hauled out the fabric and pattern for his robes, and got both the main parts cut out and sewn together. Now I just have to sew the lining to the outside, and put the hood in--I think I have to figure out how to line the hood as well, drat it, as I don't have enough red lining for the hood. There's plenty of black, though. And then I'll stitch on the Gryffindor patch and, bam, the kid is ready for Hogwarts.

I'm not exactly relaxed--my whole body hurts and my neck is in a complete crunch--but at least it should actually be finished tomorrow night! This is a Good Thing, as I'm really much busier this week than I expected.

I suppose it should come as no surprise that blogging is easier in August when I'm not working. Since returning to work in mid-September I've found that I have to carefully allocate my "me" time between knitting and sleeping, as allowing anything else time on the clock means I reduce one of those--and this, I cannot do.

The HPKCHC (That's Harry Potter Knit/Crochet House Cup to the uninitiated) is about halfway through for the Term. I completed four projects plus 3/15 of my O.W.L. (I'm making 15 towels) last month. This month all my non-O.W.L. work is on D's Halloween costume. He's reading (we're reading together) the Harry Potter books. Actually at the moment he's upstairs listening to Prisoner of Azkaban, I may never see my iPod again. :-P

So of course when he decided he wanted to be Ron Weasley for Halloween, I jumped up and down and started planning knitting projects! I'm also making his robes "from scratch," as it were... I found a cape pattern with a lining and hood--I have to combine some different pieces to make it long enough but it should work nicely, and I even found a Gryffindor patch on e-bay. We'll have to find a tie and a wand, but if worse comes to worse there's a website that I can order costume-y ones from.

I'm also involved in the HPKCHC "Quidditch" match... it's all about knitting for charity this term, and while the Quidditch coach usually changes it up term to term, I'm loving this term's Quidditch play. My team is making baby hats for Knits for Infants, and not only are they adorable but they're needed. I've only made two hats, and one stripe for a team-effort baby blanket, but after D's costume is settled I'll have time for more.

That's the "what's new" part of this post; now I'm moving on to the "pondering" part. Oh, and yeah, I know I haven't mentioned a single thing about my life other than knitting. I could, but it would just be whining about work. I have thoughts about my dog learning to talk, but that's another post altogether. :)

Pondering...

I knit on a deadline for the House Cup. Really it's a series of deadlines, because each month's assignments are due on the last day of the month at midnight. And so, toward the end of each month, several things happen.

First, my stress level increases. Seriously. I was sorted into Ravenclaw for House Cup purposes, and there's a reason: my overachieving geekiness dictates that R'claw is where I belong. So when I'm not done with my projects I get a little bit on edge. Each project completed is worth 15 points for your house; each partial project is worth 5; O.W.L. earns 50 points at the 30% mark (if achieved before the last day of the second month) and another 100 points at completion. Last month I earned the 30% points but never finished my project, but I'm going to modify it to be a table runner instead of a tablecloth so I'm kind of glad I never finished it. So all this work is worth points... and right now the Slytherins are 600ish points ahead of us and I'd really like to see the cup back in Ravenclaw Tower! We came in 2nd to the Slytherins last term and there was just no way to catch up. Their lead this time is much smaller.

I might be a trifle competitive.

Second, my production level increases. I just barely finished those mittens for my nephew by midnight September 30, but I did it. And while that means I had to work like a lunatic to get it done, I also have his Christmas present all set and I don't have to think about it any more. I love having Christmas ready with time to spare. This month won't go toward Christmas at all, but next month will, and last month did.

Third, my sleep deprivation increases, which really isn't so good, but it's temporary. Once the month clicks over and new assignments come out I get back to somewhat normal sleep habits. Though I find knitting addicting--maybe I can just finish one more inch if I stay up just a little longer. So even mid-month during low-stress times, I stay up too late because I'm doing something I enjoy.

All this plus job stress led my Darling Husband (of almost 14 years!! time do fly when you're having fun!) to ask me whether it was wise for me to be getting all stressed out by the thing I do to "relax" myself... and so I had to stop and think and ponder. (Yes, finally made it to the pondering part!)

Do I knit because it's relaxing? I'd have to honestly say no. I knit because I love the finished results of my work, and I knit to challenge myself to do harder stuff. I knit because I love giving handmade stuff to people I love. I knit because, honestly, I enjoy people's reaction to the things I make. I enjoy being admired. Especially when I worked really hard at whatever it is they're admiring.

Should I knit because it's relaxing? Probably. I recently found information about a book called Mindful Knitting which I plan to look into. Perhaps then I would enjoy both the knitting part and the end results, who knows?

Should I stop participating in contests with deadlines? No. Because contests with deadlines make me finish stuff, and that's always been a problem for me. If I don't have a reason to finish something, I get halfway through and lose interest. And I really like having finished products (which is why I rarely attempt big projects like sweaters: much more likely to finish mittens or hats!).

Okay, I have to go face the world. And cast on the front part of D's Weasley sweater, which is going to be completely beautiful. And working kids' sweaters barely counts as a sweater, they're quick and easy! Wait until you see the one I want to do during Spring term for my O.W.L.!

I'll post pics later... most of what I've made is Christmas presents, so I can't post 'em for fear someone will see them who's supposed to wait until they open it... but when D's costume is ready, pictures galore!